Capsicum Paneer

I started with the an image of 'restaurant style kadahi paneer' in my head for this dish - Red, thick gravy, chunky pieces of paneer, oily and spicy. 

However, it ended up being a very homely, not too unhealthy, sufficiently spiced capsicum paneer :) So instead of calling the final dish with any standard paneer dish names like kadhai paneer, paneer makkhani, chili paneer etc. I called it 'Capsicum Paneer'. 

Here is how I made it - 

Ingredients:

Gravy base - 

1. Ginger - 30 gms

2. Garlic - 2 cloves

3. Onions - 4

4. Green/red chillies - 2 

Vegetables - 

1. 2 green capsicums (as these are the least sweet variety)

2. Ginger - 20 gms - cut into sticks

3. Red onions - 1 big or 2 small

4. Fresh Tomatoes - 2 cut into wedges

5. Tomato puree - 400 gms

6. Paneer - I made the paneer at home too - for serving 15 people - I used 2 litres of full cream milk

Home Made Paneer

Fresh ingredients

Spices - 

1. Jeera - 1 heaped tea spoon

2. Cloves - 6-7

3. Haldi - 1 tea spoon

4. Red chili powder - 1 tea spoon 

5. Dhaniya powder - 1 tea spoon

6. Garam Masala powder - 1 tea spoon

Method - 

1. Make paneer at least a couple of hours ahead of using it in the dish and refrigerate It gives time for the paneer to firm up making it easier to cut into cubes. 

2. For the gravy base - either finely dice all the ingredients or use a food processor to get a almost paste consistency by putting everything together. 

3. Cut the capsicum and red onions into thin long slices. Cut the tomatoes as long slices as well. Slice the ginger into thin long sticks.

4. Cut the paneer into any shape you fancy - triangular, squares or rectangular. If the paneer is crumbly then better to keep the shape simple. Don't throw away any crumbs as they can be used in the gravy base.

5. Take enough oil in a deep pan to cover its base. Now shallow fry the paneer - till it is a golden colour and keep for draining the oil. Then in the same oil fry the capsicum till they are half cooked and slightly scoured. Add red onions and ginger without taking out the capsicum. Let the onions go translucent and slightly golden. 

6. When the capsicum and onions are cooked, push them to a side in the pan so that some oil is visible. In this oil, add all the dry spices. Once the spices are roasted, add the fresh tomatoes. 

7. When this is cooked, add the tomato puree and cook on medium heat until the gravy is dark red in colour and starts to leave the sides of the pan. Add salt to taste. Add any other spices like chili powder or garam masala to taste at this stage. If you want to give it a milder flavour then you can also add curd at this stage to the gravy.

8. Lastly, stir in the fried paneer gently so as to not to break the pieces and let it simmer for 5-10 minutes. 

Garnish with fresh coriander and serve hot with any flat bread or rice!

Ready to dive in!

Around the world in 24 hours!

As explained in the previous post - 'Around the world in 80 days' was ordered unplanned. But it gripped me from beginning to finish like magnet to iron. 

It has such a nice old world charm to it - I find it irresistible. The English gentlemen of lore - a dream like person with all the chivalry that ever was, with all the knowledge ever discovered and with all the worldly smartness one would ever need!

The travelogue of a rich, handsome British young man around the world on sea and land (no airways in those days!) is witty, thrilling and captivating. The descriptions of the places they go through are succinct yet accurate (a bit dated though - the subcontinent has changed beyond recognition!). 

The book is written in an unique style - minimal characters with sharp attributes and each playing critical role at various points. Loved the crispness of the whole story. Just as the protagonist's task of circumventing the world in 80 days was daunting, I am sure the author's task to write about the numerous places in 150 pages (along with the story plot) must have been challenging. 

Who am I to endorse a classic like 'Around the world in 80 days' but at least I can appreciate it!

The True First Kindle Book

Correction: In the 'Cloud Atlas' post I mentioned that Cloud Atlas was my first Kindle book. This is not true - And I have only realised it after reading a true Kindle book & the experience was much different. 

I was looking for books for a couple of pre-teens girls as gifts. Not knowing what would they like I was inclined on tried and trusted classics. Browsing through 100s of titles on Amazon - found 'Around the world in 80 days' with a price 0.00 for Kindle edition!

Having recently acquired a wireless connection, I was keen on using my Kindle more, so purchased it then. I must confess - already a fan of Amazon's one click ordering, I was all the more impressed how quickly the book was downloaded on my Kindle after clicking 'buy'. Great stuff!

Reading a proper Kindle book on Kindle is much different from reading any old pdf. The pages are rightly sized (no need for scrolling), I can attach notes, highlight, book mark sections and even look up meanings of the words without leaving the page. It also calculates the speed at which you read and tells you how long left before you finish it :) - I had not heard of that before!! The only thing I would have liked more - was the ability to copy and paste in notes.

But come what may - nothing beats a paper book. Love the smell of paper, love turning the pages, love reaching the end of a book and then reading the back cover, I simply love every part of a book.  Nothing beats the addition of a book to a shelf in my room. Love admiring them whenever I enter the room, love reading the titles on the spine, love rearranging them :)

I love my books. I love the escape they give me - the way they take me to empty spaces!

Argh!

WARNING: Absolutely random!!

It is such a weird state of mind - I love my purchasing power but I hate the work I have to do to get it.

I love the fact that S is doing great in his work but I hate that he has to stay away from me for it.

I wait for the weekend to come from 12.01AM on Mondays, but when it arrives, I don't know what to with myself!

I have started feeling tremendous pressure at work. And feel like running away from it. But there is no where I could run to :(

I don't know how to get out of it.

Why is wanting not equal to getting?

The Waiting Game

It is strange - I have spent most of my life waiting. I don't know about others, is this normal?

I don't remember since which year in school - I have waited for the holidays, I have waited for the holidays to get over and waited for another year to start. 

I have waited to get into a college. I have waited for the college exams and then waited for the results. I have waited to get an internship and waited to get a job. 

People say the best time of their lives is when they were in school and college, but I think my days have never been there. I don't remember going through a day without waiting for something. My student memories are not made up of sweet memories (in most part) but of endlessly waiting for the next event!

College over, job started -> Waiting for post graduation, waiting for admission exams, waiting for results, waiting for the scholarship, waiting for the visa. All this wait - in hindsight, must have definitely made me cranky and unpleasant to hang out with. Because I was never there - never in present with the people around me physically.  I must stick out with my wait of the 'future'. I am always waiting for things to change which stops me from enjoying what is there now. 

Post graduation - Yes it was an achievement, yes I allowed myself a bit of jubilation. And yes, it was all about post graduation for those 10 months of my life - but it was as if I am on a mission to moon - precise, practical and prudent every minute of those 10 months - not making memories out of my 'foreign' education! (Add to it the added pressure of getting married!!) Now, when I look back, or look at my batch mates I feel like I missed a trick. There has to be a middle ground where you can have fun and not compromise on the mission.

We are married, in stable jobs, living in pleasant cosy places - still I am restless, I am seeking the unreachable 'better tomorrow'! Part of me thinks (even in this reflective mode) that my want/wait is justified. It is not easy to simply ignore the wrongs and keep focusing on the rights. We try that, and have spent nearly 2 years doing so. It doesn't change anything, apart from 'getting used to'. I don't want do it anymore. I want to set the wrongs right, I want to have the missing pieces complete and I want to start enjoying the normal now - Now!!!

Cloud Atlas

Cloud Atlas is my first Kindle book. 

So before I write about the book, a bit about the experience. Over last couple of months there has been a lot of travel in my work. Thanks to dear S I had Kindle to give me company :) Though while travelling, I rarely get a chance to read, I asked S for a book to have a fall back (nothing more boring than having to travel alone without a book!). 

The reason it was Cloud Atlas was because when waiting for our flight from Rome, I noticed the couple ahead of us in the queue reading Cloud Atlas (husband) and Capital (wife). It connected to some vague memory in my brain reminding me that I had once thought of reading this book. One of the first Amazon reviews I read for the book said not too read too much about the book before reading it & enjoy the stories as they unfold. So I took the advice and didn't research any further.

The book was loaded on Kindle and lay there unread for quite a few weeks. Then on one of those trains back home where I was alone, I started reading it. The first few pages I admit, I read rather mechanically - just for the sake of reading. But then as a couple of characters began to emerge, I got used to reading the book. 

The book is written across different time periods in history & future of human kind. It may throw you off for sometime and may seem a bit all over the place.  However, there is something unique in each part of the books which keeps you glued on to discover more. I wonder if each of the 6 stories have actually got potential to be expanded into books in their own right!!

Confession - the links between various stories are not abundantly evident (or at least to me). A couple of stories actually refer characters by name and it is clear that you have read about this person in another part of the book but what is their role is still difficult to gauge. Only when I completed reading the book I did some Internet search on it - I wanted to know what had I missed. Reading some of the reviews made the hints clearer. 

Now that I have read the book and have read its reviews the least I can say is Cloud Atlas is a challenging book. It expects its readers to pay attention to the details and then sweat themselves out in figuring the connections! It is not a casual read which would make sense even if you skip pages or read half asleep. Every line could be as critical as next!

So may be it was a wrong choice for travel/part time reading but then I don't know when would I ever pick up a book to play the tiring game of 'so what did he mean by that...' with the author!

Travel Tales - Rome

Having written the 2nd post under 'Travel Tales' I feel compelled to at least write something about Rome - one of our more extensive travels!

We spent 4 days in this grand Italian capital - and I must confess, this short write up is neither going to cover it all chronologically nor possibly will describe the experience in great detail. But what I endeavour to do is to present an essence of our trip here. 

Rome was not our first choice for this holiday - we were looking at Turkey for a couple of weeks when someone suggested Venice and Italy became another country to look at. Though still quite confident about Turkey, we started reading about various Italian cities. The more we read about it, the more we felt attracted towards it. S & I were looking for a budget  holiday so there was also an economics element in picking up Rome. The flights were reasonable, and we found a very nice hotel at bargain rates! The visa process took about 2 weeks and then a month of excited wait :)

We arrived in Rome on flight nearly missed from Paris at 11 PM! Outside the Ciampino Airport, it felt a bit unsafe and strange when no taxis came for about 20 minutes. My mind started thinking of the infamous Italian Mafia :D We checked in at about midnight. The hotel was decent (feels even better on thinking back!) Tired, we slept almost instantly. 

Next morning, Rome gave us a hearty welcome with bright sun and clear skies. We had a nice breakfast and left for the city centre. First day in Rome was allocated for the Vatican City. And this tiny country deserves a full day of your attention. The Vatican Museums are one of the largest campuses I have set foot on.The Sistine Chapel is divine! (pun intended) The paintings, the altar, the ambiance all make you feel so spiritual. St. Peter's Square and St. Peter's Basilica are awe inspiring.
Had a lovely time street shopping and enjoyed Italian coffee. Satisfied with our day we had a good night's rest. 

Second day in Rome was for city sight seeing - Castel de St. Angelo, The Pantheon, Piaza de Venezia, Piaza de Popolo and a scrumptious Italian dinner. These ancient monuments in Rome (except Piaza de Venezia which is 19th Century) are treasures of human stories. Each place has a special tale to tell and a special place in this eternal city.

In the evenings, while waiting for our train back to the hotel, we would map out our next day's routes. For the 3rd day we had - The Roman Forum, The Colosseum, Trevi Fountain and Piaza Navona. The Roman Forum is a 'city centre' of the modern day. It housed temples, shops, community halls and memorials. Looking at it, one realises that the human mind has worked along the same lines for centuries. And that the current social set up is probably not easy to get rid off! The Colosseum - it is truly a marvel of human ambition. The sheer structure, the mechanics and the design is mind boggling. To think of constructing something of it's stature without any electrical or mechanical aid gives me goose bumps. It was one of the best sites in Rome for me. 

We also visited Trevi Fountain that day - another one of sclupting geniuses in Rome - it was one of S's favourite from the trip :)

Piaza Navona was a delight too - a haven for artists it was full of painters and sketchers. We got a caricature done too (still to find a frame for it!!)

  

On the last day we covered all the remaining sites - The Spanish Steps, Villa Borghese, Capitol Museum, The Zoological Park and a visit back to the Trevi Fountain. 

We also spent some time roaming around the various Piazas and street markets shopping for souvenirs. Enjoyed a very delicious lunch and made our way to the airport!

Rome didn't let us down in any way - the local transport was good, people were warm, food was tasty and weather was kind :) We were really glad that we chose it to be a part of our first European holiday!

Travel Tales - Belfast

Last weekend S & I decided to have a 'meet in the middle' adventure at Belfast, Northern Ireland. 

We were not expecting to have a lot in the city to do or visit. So we thought we will spend the day at The Giant Causeways. 

But on our city tour, we discovered much more than expected!

Even after years of the peace agreement, the city is more divided than I could imagine - there is a wall running through the residential area to stop violence. It felt as if the common man was more involved in these troubles than the military could ever be. The bitterness lingers on and from what I picked, I am not sure if it is getting any less intense.

It was eerie to go through these areas with war torn buildings and rebel murals. It made me realise that how lucky I am to have never been near a conflict site.

But as always hope survives, there was a brand new development quarter in another part of the city, hailing Belfast's claim to fame - The Titanic.
Our tour guide joked - "Titanic was sent off the coast of Belfast in perfectly good order, it was not their fault that she had an English captain and a Scot navigator".
 

 We also went to the University area and the Botanic Gardens. The gardens were thronged with people, out and about to enjoy a glorious summer day! We had to queue for more than 20 minutes to get our ice creams :)

With an insight to Belfast's story at the Ulster Museum, the trip ended up being much more than just a romantic adventure!

No Border Control!

Muggle to Magic!!

Daal Makkhani

Made this for the first time a couple of weekends ago. Took some guidance from various recipes off the internet, some handy hints from mother in law and some additions of my own! Below is the resulting recipe -

Ingredients (for 5 people):

Base - 

1. 150gm Sabut Urad

2. 1 cup Rajma (Red Kidney Beans) if not soaked or 1 400gm tin of red kidney beans soaked in salted water

Cooking Medium - 

3. 50gm butter

4. Clarified Butter (ghee) - 2 table spoon 

Spices - 

5. Cinnamon Sticks - 4-5

6. Bay Leaves - 2

7. Cumin Seeds - 1 tea spoon

8. Ground chilli powder - 1 tea spoon

9. Turmeric Powder - 1 tea spoon

10. Coriander Powder - 1 tea spoon

Gravy (Tadka) - 

11. Ginger - 20gm

12. Garlic - 2 cloves

13. Onion - 3

14. Tomatoes - 3

15. Green Chillies - 2

Garnish - 

16. Fresh Coriander leaves

17. Fresh Cream - 125ml

Advance Preparation:

Soak the daal and rajma (if not tinned) overnight for faster cooking.

Recipe:

• Boil the soaked daal and rajma with a little bit of salt in pressure cooker (use the same water in which it was soaked). If soaked overnight, then 5-6 whistles should be enough. Check the daal for being soft as undercooked daal could spoil the dish! If there is extra water in the pressure cooker then keep it aside because you will need it to bring the thick daal to right consistency before serving :-)
• For the gravy -Peel the onions and quarter. Wash the tomatoes and quarter. Cut the chillies into halves. Peel the garlic cloves. Peel and slice ginger. Put everything together in the food processor bowl and pulse until smooth. Alternatively you can chop (dice) these ingredients very finely and mix them together.  
• Heat the butter and ghee in a pan on medium heat. When it starts to bubble add the dry spices. Roast for a couple of minutes or until the cumin seeds change colour to golden. Then add the gravy paste. 
• Keep stirring the paste until it - a. Changes to a dark red colour b. The raw tomato smell is gone c. The gravy leaves the sides of the pan and starts coming together. This could be anything between 15-20 min. 
• Drain any excess water from the pressure cooker and stir in the cooked gravy. Let it boil on low heat for about 20 min. Keep adding the excess water if the mixture becomes too dry.
• Once boiled & bubbling, add in about 100ml of fresh single cream and boil again for about 20 min. At this point the daal will begin to change colour from greenish brown to rusty brown. 
• Add salt to taste. 

Serve hot garnished with fresh cream, coriander leaves and ginger sticks.

Whilst cooking

Final Dish

Travel Tales - Paris

After spending a couple of months obsessed with planning the trip we at least understood that less was more with luggage. We started our light journey for Paris with barely a couple of hours of sleep - at 3 in the morning :) I know the timing may sound un-earthly, but the excitement of 'travelling abroad' kept us going! We managed to reach St. Pancras to take our 'Euro Star' in time - but without our boarding passes - thankfully they were printing them out at the station! Through the barricades, we reached the border control. Since Paris was not our main destination, we had visas from the Italian embassy. Making the people behind the counter slightly suspicious. That went alright and our passports got stamped with 'Left Londres' :)

(I am a stickler for getting more and more stamps on my passport - if in different colours even better!!)

I must confess, I was asleep for most part of the journey :D But we did enjoy a hot chocolat in the restaurante carriage of the train with some fantastic views of Paris scenery :) Soon it was time to get down at Paris Nord terminal. It is huge, I would say bigger than London Victoria or St. Pancras (I can see many Britons raising an eyebrow over that!) and it is confusing (definitely much more than ANY of London stations). 

Like most technology savvy, well planned tourists these days - we had a plan - to go to Canal St. Martin- for a lovely Parisian breakfast. However, as it would appear - the destination was not as popular with the locals :D So we did what the tourist information officer explained to S - day passes on Paris Public Transport & off to Monmarte - Basilica of Sacred Heart. It is a beautiful church, built on top of a hill. Weather being nice to us - we had some amazing panoramic views of the city from there. After spending some quality time at the church, we had our brunch at a small cafe bottom of the hill. I would not stay it was the best I have had, but I guess it was all about the ambience :)

By now we had got grips with the metro map and managed to reach Arch De Triomph without much difficulty. Again, with sun out of the clouds, it made a fantastic view. It is a monument inspired by Arch of Titus in Rome (which has inspired hundreds of victory arches over centuries) built in the memory of the 'unknown soldier'. It marks one end of the fancy Parisian street of Champs Elysees. 

We walked around Champs Elysees - which was truly Paris for me. Fancy window displays, specialised restaurants and cafes, delis and dedicated dessert bars! We had lunch in one of the good looking places which had even better food in great seats with a superb view :)

(I am also a stickler for seats in a restaurant, they have to be in a corner, but not by the doors or the toilets, with perfect lighting and view :) )

Our next set of destinations took us around River Siene - Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame and the Lourve. 

Eiffel Tower - well by now the sun had said bye and it was a little colder by the river and it was super crowded!! Even then, it is an iconic structure and it surprises me how people may perhaps not recognise Paris with some of its prettier monuments, but would do so instantly with a picture of Eiffel Tower. We did spend some time around it trying to get decent pictures & some trick photography inspired by fellow tourists :D

Next, on a double decker train to Cathedral of Notre Dame - a very elegant monument with grand facade. On a nice sunny day, Notre Dame will be my pick to spend an afternoon with a book with loads of 'chewables' and a hot drink. Its majestic spires make perfect backdrop for a historic read!

From there we went to the Lourve - already a bit tight for our flight to Rome, we panicked a bit - I think we took a bad decision to switch the stations at the last minute and were lost for a little while. A nice looking French man gave us a few directions (I think all French people are aware that their country lacks what is called - sign posts!!) and we finally managed to reach the grand grounds of Lourve (the gallery itself was closed - and is a reason we must plan another visit to Paris soon). S loved its geometrical layout and of course the famous glass pyramids. Wish we had a bit more time to sit and absorb. 

Intelligently - we took a taxi back to Paris Nord and managed to catch our train to the airport JUST IN TIME :) :)

Thought Soup!

Lately I feel S & I have been overwhelmed with things to do! There is always something else to add to the list, always something more to be done.  This should be normal right?

I guess it is the same for everyone - every body must have their own things to do, in a format of their choice. It is difficult to imagine an existence where you don't have a 'thing' to do next. Since the day we are no more 'kids' we start worrying. When kids, we are all infected by a strong desire of being 'grown up'. How utterly naive of us!! I can only look back and realise that those must have been the most carefree days of my life ever. I will never be as curious, as enthusiastic, as free of worldy sins and as energetic as I was when I was 6! Being 'grown up' is not nice most of the time. I mean it is nothing compared to being under the love, care and protection of one's parents :) Right, back to the list then. 

So if every one has lists, every one is busy finishing one task and moving to next, then why do we feel so overwhelmed by it? Are we late? Are we not doing well enough so that we are having to play catch up? Why does it feel 'all at once'? May be we are in a hurry? We just want things to be done?

Tick Tock

It must be running faster than ever. The clock. I can't believe this is April already. 

Past few weeks have just whizzed by. And I am grateful that they did. I can imagine how dreadful it is when time drags. 

Quite a few things happened over last month which deserve to be properly documented. But as days pass, each one loses its context and my enthusiasm to write about them. I am always worried about what is next. I think, S thinks, I don't enjoy the 'now' as much because I am already buzzing with the 'next'.

I guess I need to start reading more - more spiritual literature, the kind father always recommends. It will calm me down, I hope. 

So getting back to the chronological devices, in the month of March, weekdays were busy at work, and weekends busy with so much more. Birthdays, festivals, house move and travel :)

I am a 'house' wife now! Moved out of my bachelorette pad after 3.5 years finally!!! Still getting used to having it all to myself :) (& of course the huge amount of work which comes with it to keep it all sparkly :()

We travelled - to Paris and Rome. It was an indulgent trip - had a fantastic time :) Makes me want to go - again and again - to discover the rest of the world :)

Life - as it unfolds!

I have this very strong notion in my head - that nothing comes without planning, without working hard towards getting it. Whenever I see people of my generation having a seemingly good life - in the high earning spectrum, married by a certain age, living in a newly constructed (or still under construction!) house, with European cars and holidays - I think - it may look effortless, but it is not. 

I believe the smart working class people, have increasingly started 'planning' life. Every move is calendarised, every information organised, every event managed. Always - in control; of everything. 

And when I flew out of the nest, I almost instinctively started to do the same - plan, plan and plan!! I have spent a lot of my life being sequential - A after B, Y not before X and so on. I have tried to think ahead, manage my future. I find these words from Wolf Hall (Hilary Mantel) unforgettable - "It is all very good to have a plan for next year, couple of years or 5 years, but is no good to not have a plan for tomorrow"

I have learnt, that it is in this tiny unplanned tomorrow that life happens!

Quite a few turning points in my life have come out of turn (pun intended). Further education - planned? Not until I actually filled in the form. Working in the UK - planned? Not until weeks before time to fly back. Getting married - not even after being engaged!!!

Still - I have not given up on planning, and rather have dragged S into it! Someone who has lived for now most of his life, must find it so strange, but still appreciates my point of view :) I do think planning reaps rewards and definitely is not harmful! But what it does or rather has done to me is - made me wary of surprises, cautious of unexpected things, and scared of sudden decisions. 

What we did today is super awesome, long due, and eagerly awaited :) I have been so looking forward to this! But when it happened, it happened suddenly and my feelings got punctuated by my overly planned mind.

I am sorry S, and well done you :)

Cromwell

Wolf Hall - it is a soap opera in a book. Hilary Mantel has woven a an irresistible fabric of romance, jealously, politics, family and history. 

To say that the book is about Tudors is a bit unfair. It is more about the relationship between two men in power- one deriving from the other. 

Henry Tudor - a king who's questioned by entire Europe, who's position is weakened by his marital status. 

A king without an earnest adviser. 

Thomas Cromwell - An opportunist. A pragmatic trader who knows how to turn any obstacle into a boulder to step on.

Hilary has brought these two characters together beautifully. Each encompassed with his own set of domestic and political issues, each haunted by a wife who is no more. 

I would have never thought I would like to read a political book, but Wolf Hall has it so finely ingrained in  the whole plot that one doesn't realise when history morphs into dirty politics.

I am surprised how relevant this is all these centuries later. Shrewd men like Cromwell are making their way up the ladder - the cooperate one if not regal. Connections, obligations, favours still drive the who's with who equation. And how important it is to have an 'image' that is liked by all.

Only an author of great(?) capabilities could pull it through.

I know my review of the book has done no justice to the book, plot, characters or the author, but I am a firm believer of something is better than nothing.

Absent & Aware

It is not as if I am "Oh where did all these months go". I have been acutely aware of my lack of writing. On every event which would have normally got a post, I thought about this space. 

I know so many things happened over last few months that it has gone beyond a consolidation post. But still I will try, because along with everything else - this blog has helped me keep a record - of life, as I have lived it for past 6+ years!

November 2012 - 

S's birthday - our one of the least enjoyable trips to Canterbury (I can laugh about it now, but believe me on that day - it was awful!) It was raining all the time, the streets were packed full of people and all the decent attractions were paid (quite highly) for :(

We took the first bus back we could. You can have an idea of the trip when I say lunch at a high street chain was the highlight of the day :D

Trip to India - In one word - it was all about Family :) 5 days at S's place - fantastic. Loved it (most of it ;))

My rushed trip to welcome N - adventurous!! Cannot thank enough S & parents for letting me do it. It will be one of the most memorable moments in my life. But days at home are never enough. Other highlights - attended a friend's engagement, spent some good time with my little brother and had parantha's for breakfast :)

Missed S terribly for the rest of my time. I think we both agree - no more solo trips :)

Trip to Reigate - Chronologically it happened before the trip to India but it took effect on a later date. I was very anxious about going on this one - I think more than most students are about bunking classes these days :D But it was a fruitful trip, though still waiting for the fruits to arrive in post :D

December 2012 - Our first anniversary! Yippee :) One year - gone by, just like that. This gives me a feeling of panic more often than glee. Yes, everything was good enough that the year just went by, but that's a year gone!!! Are we moving in the direction we want to? Are we doing things that we were meant to do in this first year of wedding? Perhaps not. Time to sit up and take stock. I think S's alarm bells are ringing too. We shall have a more happening, a more 'us' year this year! I hope and pray and wish and I will do. Celebrations were superb. One of the best weekends yet. Full on enjoyment - short yes, sweet - very :) :) :)

And then I fall ill :( for all of the 10 days S was here :( No outing, no movies, no fun. Stay at home and have medicines. Poor thing had to cook, shop and nurse me :( THANK YOU! 

New Year 2013 - Some resolutions, some will, some motivations, let us make this a cracking year!

Mix Bag

I don't like to write about sad things in the same post in which I recollect happy things. But then, it is so depressing to think/write/read/think about a sad thing in isolation.

October is one of the busiest months in our family calendar, averaging more than 1 occasion every week!! So many flowers ordered, so many cakes delivered, loads of online shopping and greeting cards :)

Just for keep sake I will write the dates here -

2/10

7/10

9/10

10/10

14/10

16/10

24/10

27/10

S & I hosted a birthday dinner :) I cannot express how satisfying it was, to have a dinner, where I was not guest! First, formal, proper dinner party 'we' gave. (Things which make you feel instantly grown up #1*). It was full of fun and great food. Really a Fun-tasty-ic evening :) Thank you S, for having the heart!

And I was also taken for a shopping spree, found a couple of 'wanted' items on my list :) I think S would agree, I have almost forgotten - how to shop for self and/or how to shop without need :D I realised, yet again how impatient I am. Nothing apart from food seems to be worth spending hours on, not even women's fashion stores in a super-high end mall!

This was on the weekend.

During the following week, I heard the absolutely shocking news of one of our family acquaintances' sad demise. I was in tears, and shaking. It was horrible. This is the 3rd news. I hate it, absolutely hate it. It makes me sick. I had to put great effort in putting this behind me. But it is not gone, lingers on - like bad after taste. I want to completely, absolutely, fully forget it. I don't know why am I writing it. But I guess the strong emotions I felt needed to be said out, hence.

I know S will not like it - that I have wrote it in the same post - but that's the point - mix bag - life - happiness makes us work so hard for it, and sadness, cause of it; and the show must go on.

*PS: I think this list of 'Things which instantly make you feel grown up' is going to grow - hence the number!

Mission Accomplished

Months of trepidation, weeks of dilemma and days and nights of discussions! To go for it or not - but we did. He did it, through the prosaic assignments, strange examinations, boring classes and frustrations!

At the risk of sounding immodest, Thank You S, for doing it, for I know you did it for me :)

Extremely proud of you, well done!!

Grateful

Thank you God. Really - A big Thank You!

I want to do an exercise - of quantifying the positive and negative thoughts I have during a day or even during a conversation. I feel the need of doing so after meeting a friend today who's story made me realise how much time I waste in complaining rather than appreciating what life has bestowed on me so far. 

Only yesterday, for some brief minutes I let myself be a conceited person. My swollen head full of 'Oh I have done it all on my own', 'I work so hard for it' notions. I am so grateful to God, that within 24 hours I am humbled again. Thankful and Grateful, for all things I have got - hard work or not, the rewards cannot be taken for granted, ever.

Her difficulties are not hidden from me, and by all means she has never shied away from a fight. Such grit, such determination, such devotion to life, truly amazing. I am ashamed to have thought of her in any other way. Such terrible times, and yet, to have the heart to share. To have the attitude to fight another fight, to have the mind focused, still on the right things, to have the resolve to stay and persevere. I salute.

You have taught me a few things today, and I hope not to forget this in a hurry -

1. Money matters - but only to an extent

2. Will to win should stay, no matter what, no matter where

Random Realisations

1. Time and tide wait for none. Life goes on, with or without you. There might be a level of exotic-ness in being the foreign child in the family, but fact of the matter is that - you are not there, not sharing the moments, and you are as good as news channel - with snippets from across the world being telecast-ed but no one stops to read them.

2. However tiring and exhausting the week has been - I cannot have do-nothing weekends. I may pledge to myself to not do anything and then I feel extremely wasted and irritated with myself with a day past empty. I need to do something most of the times.

3. I am not rich enough yet. And may not be anytime soon. My dreams are still far far far away and it is not going to be an easy ride.

4. I am not living the life I had envisaged 3 years ago. In fact I have not moved tangibly and I don't like it. Time is slipping away.

5. I am a difficult person :(