Guilt and More

I did not know that I was on this mission. I am glad that I am on this mission though :) It is such a positive feeling! (As evident from my previous post) I am sort of down in the dumps currently but this realisation just made me smile. 

My lowly self is burdened with guilt today - I am guilty of not behaving properly. 

This blog has been subject to similar posts previously - full of bitterness etc. But this I think time it is a mixed bag. Let's get the bitterness out first so that we can end on a positive!

Bad behaviour: I am guilty of being (p)rudish to people whom I have no business to throw it at. They are ,under no circumstances, obliged to take my tantrums and I gave them some tonight. It feels terribly terribly wrong. However hard I try, I don't think so I will be getting out of it any time soon. May be my guilt will drive me to do something more tangible - box of chocolates? Home cooked something? I don't know if I will even get a chance to do this or not! Miserable me :((

Good observation: I am sure Dad will disapprove of my behaviour. But in his heart he will be extremely satisfied that I was a human being aware enough to be able to catch myself on something so easily missable. 

Parents have taught us good from bad. Dad has always worked on us with the intention that we are aware of our actions. If we are aware of our action then only we will not do bad. But if we are not aware of what we are doing, we will never notice the bad and never correct it. Hence, I am wee bit glad that I was able to notice , even though couldn't correct myself in time. As they say practise makes a woman perfect. 

I so want to discuss this with someone who understand this. I know husband/mother/sister wouldn't. And Dad will emphasise only on telling me off for the bad part. (He generally keeps the good things about us to himself :D) But guess that's what journals & blogs are for!

I have confessed to the world now - guilt please go!