Helter-Skelter!

Helter-skelter is the word which describes this month so far for me. I opened the 'new post' tab a couple of times, and once even started typing a post but couldn't go beyond a couple of lines. Throughout this week though, I had the awareness that this would be my last weekend to get an entry for February! So here I am, trying to recap what all happened this frantic Feb.

It started with a topsy turvy weekend. Saturday made me feel rubbish & crap. The feeling was strong enough to make come to this place but the day rushed into another one and the context was lost. In fact I am glad that I didn't get the time to put everything I felt/thought down because it would have made me that tiny bit more bitter while writing it (unconsciously reliving the incidents) and many times more by reading the entry. This has made me realise that forgetting voids forgive, so - 'Forget' alone works really well :)
Sunday was a complete contrast - I had a lovely day out. There is nothing like being let loose in London! It was great fun - met some good people, went to interesting places (Harrods!), had hearty meals and laughed quite a bit :) It was a first of its kind day for me. I often go to these spots; sometimes alone, at other times in company of all sorts of people. I think being in company of short stay people who want to take as much of London as they can back with them suddenly made me wake up to the London craze once again :) Inspiring!

The following couple of weeks just whirled by. Weekdays were busy/crazy at work. I do not quite qualify to be a workaholic yet, but I do enjoy being busy at work. It drives me mad when I have to fiddle away time at work because I am waiting on someone before I can make a start. This delay & my own indecision made days at work insufferable. I felt guilty and angry with myself all through. I think my negative energy comes out more evidently than my positive energy. This can make things so sour with colleagues :( I am still a rookie at keeping poise. Miles to go before my 'Miss Congeniality' crown!!
Weekends were practically spent at BR with (many)delicious meals, lovely desserts and gossip along with party preps. Really rushed days yet enjoyable (mostly!).

Then came the week I had been waiting for. I got my 'promoted' at work with a not so gratifying raise. But this wasn't the highlight. The reason to celebrate was dampened by a not-welcome news. (This is exactly what I meant by having to feel the emotions again & since this isn't forgotten - it hurts) So I am not going to elaborate. Just that life moves on - fingers crossed - for bigger, better things.

I was at home today mostly talking to so many people :) I spoke to more than a dozen of relatives & friends. My sweetest little brother so innocently asked me to come over for a longer holiday - it just brought tears to my eyes. I mean he just wants me to come for me - not why my parents want - to get me married, not why my sister wants - to get me a job in India but just because he wants to spend time with me. Love you kiddo :') Thank you so much for being my brother - you are the best! God bless you. In the evening, I got some great news from one of my friends which gave me such a pleasant feeling that I cant simply call it happiness. (touch wood - yeah I am a bit finicky about these!)

There is still a Monday to go in the month about which I am pretty apprehensive, given that how it has gone so far! But Insha Allah - end will be well :)