Time to open my eyes

Closing eyes doesn't make things disappear, they stay there to be more hurtful next time. It's been a long time that I started doing this. Whenever I have a conversation about things I don't want to think about or be questioned about I simply make myself forget that it ever happened. Living more than 7000 miles away from family surely helps. May be it is abusing the privilege of distance. I consciously replace the thought process by watching a cookery show or cooking or reading a book or going for a stroll or anything at all. It works every time; almost to perfection. This is so much easier when I don't have to breathe in the atmosphere pregnant with annoyance and allegations. There is no one around to push me back into it. It is indeed very convenient. But dangerous, I realised today. It makes you leave things unsorted, pending, piling up to strike back when you are least prepared - when you had comfortably forgotten about it.

So today I decided to take stock of the situation. I should not cave in, even if parts of me see it as the easier option out. But I wont, I cant let myself down by giving up without the fight I deserve. There are times when things work in your favour and times when they don't. It's quite easy to feel great about yourself when things fall in place and let the good times get to your head. That's exactly what happened. For last year and a half, things were working out, mind you I am not throwing away the credit to destiny, it was my hard work & good times made it pay. But I guess it's time to put on the fighting suit on once more, for a tougher, longer, more critical battle with circumstances not exactly on my side.